Abstinence

How is Gay Celibacy Different from Straight Celibacy?

I also understand that gay celibacy is harder than straight celibacy because teenage Christians are told abstinence will lead to better sex in marriage; i.e. they’re told “just wait and it’ll get better.” But, of course, most Christians eventually find out that this is false – that abstinence is no guarantee of great sex in marriage – and end up being angry and frustrated. And for those who don’t, they have to go through repeated heartbreak after heartbreak, waiting and waiting and waiting for “The One” that never comes. Or agonize over whether they should settle for someone who seems like they’re not a good fit, but hey, they’re getting older and her fertility won’t last much longer, so maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

In other words, churches give straight people the candy rather than the medicine. Many evangelical churches set expectations high (because it’s more hip or easily persuasive) rather than challenging a sex-focused culture and seeming “out of touch.” Those who end up marriage are dissatisfied because they’ve been sold unrealistic expectations. Those who don’t marry out of circumstance may end up feeling equally like there’s something *wrong* with them, and never have the sense of vocation that would offer them a fulfilling narrative about their role in God’s kingdom.

Comment: Honesty is the best policy, as eternity is a very long time…

One thought on “Abstinence

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