British woman’s daily porn use ‘destroyed’ her life

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/british-womans-daily-porn-use-destroyed-my-life

TOTNES, South Devon, U.K., September 25, 2015 (LifeSiteNews) – Jessie Maegan’s life followed the snowballing path typical of pornography addiction.

Jessie, 29, complied with her boyfriend, who told her that watching porn would “spice up” their sex life. It started “harmlessly,” watching a little “porn” with him to get “in the mood.”

“The first time he put it on I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it and told him to turn it off,” Jessie explained.  “But, over the next week or so, he talked me into giving it a go.”

After the first sessions with her boyfriend, the desire for pornography began to increase rapidly. After only a few months, they were caught in a trap: they had developed a habit of watching porn for long periods of time every night, to the point of losing sleep.

Porn was negatively impacting both their jobs. “I was exhausted all the time,” Jessie said. But neither she nor her boyfriend stopped there.

The nature of addiction is that it robs you of life. In Jessie’s case, it robbed her not only of sleep, but of her boyfriend.

Ultimately, the couple broke up, because, the boyfriend said, he needed to get his career under control. In reality, his porn addiction left him with so little sleep that he was failing at his job.

Jessie didn’t stop porn when she lost her boyfriend. Instead, she tried to deal with the relational separation with more porn. Pornography had become her source of escape.

Jessie kept watching pornography alone. In fact, she said her addiction to porn only grew when she was left by herself. Like other addictions, pornography isolates its victim into an extreme, unhealthy introversion.

“I wasn’t eating properly and I had no friends,” Jessie admitted to The Sun, proving once again that the pathetic obsession with pornography disrupts both romantic relationships and friendships. “I was starting to ignore my friends, not replying to their calls or texts.”

When her boyfriend called to tell her he’d found someone else, Jessie ran deeper into porn, her refuge. Pornography “had taken control of my life,” she admitted. “I’d become very anti-social, but I wasn’t bothered, because I knew [porn] made me happy.”

She began to watch pornography online more and more, up to eight hours a night. “I’d lose track of time, sometimes not getting to bed until four a.m.,” Jessie admitted to The Sun. “I’d watch it on my phone in the park at lunchtimes and on my breaks from work.  I’d be counting down the minutes until I could finish my shift and get home to watch more.”

Additionally, Jessie admits, “I started paying for the exclusive content, because by then I felt like I had seen it all.” She ran up her credit card bill to over six thousand dollars in debt, “when I could barely afford my rent.”

But the cost of porn was far more than just lucre. As her addiction grew worse, Jessie grew more attracted to greater and greater perversion. “I moved on to group stuff with S&M,” she said.

“The more I saw, the more I wanted. The edgier the better.” Again, Jessie didn’t stop there.

Eventually, Jessie was fired from her job because she kept falling asleep at her desk.  Porn, like other addictions, is merciless; it negatively impacts every aspect of its victim’s livelihood, including work.

It was only after she had lost her job to porn that Jessie decided she had a problem. In her own words, she had a “turning point.” Then, she said, “I knew I had to get help.”

Jessie admitted her porn addiction to friends and family. She sought help and signed up with an online counseling service, HelpAddictions.org.

She gradually began taking her life back from pornography. “I slowly managed to cut back on my usage. By the time I had got down to just one hour of porn a day, I was desperate to stop completely. The day I did finally stop, I felt this amazing sense of relief,” she said.  “By the time I went home to my parents for Christmas I felt like a normal human again.”

Now The Herald reports that “by gradually reducing her viewing habits, Jessie has now quit online porn all together.”

These days, Jessie shares her story so that others will find hope for recovery from porn addiction, too. “If I can stop just one other person getting drawn in, it will be worth it.” As is the case with those who conquer their addictions, part of the healing process – which is lifelong – is to become a healer for others.

HelpAddictions.org reports that 72 million people use internet porn regularly, and almost a third are women. The Sun reports that a recent study has shown that porn addicts get the same buzz as alcoholics when they get their fix; the brain is stimulated in the same way as drug dependence.

Over one in every ten adults admits to having an addiction to internet pornography.

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