“but I would argue that it takes more strength of character for a man to remain a virgin.”
The same conflict that I fought with in my youth. The world against religion. Although I wasn’t able to attract a girl, it does matter whether you try, because you are worldly, or don’t even try because you are religious. However, if you masturbate, you can’t take pride in your willpower, so that leaves you trying to seduce girls to prove your manhood.
Nevertheless, I tried to suppress my masturbation, as it left me feeling drained.
“Now, what if this man got married? I’d imagine the first few times would be incredibly awkward – that’s to be expected. But with some experience, the actual sex would improve. More importantly, would the experience of pre-marriage virginity improve his character? He would have had to develop his strength, willpower, self-control and self-confidence to be able to resist societal expectations and endure the stigma of male virginity. These are all ‘masculine’ and attractive traits in a guy. Plus, would he have a lower risk of cheating, if he had resisted women for a period of time before marriage?”
It does prove willpower. Think of Herr Mannelig.
Why is virginity in men so stigmatised? Culturally, men who have not had sex before a certain age are ridiculed for no real reason. This is in contrast to virgin women who, in the past and in certain cultures still, are seen as ‘pure’. Somehow, society seems to think that sexual activity is a marker of masculinity.
Virginity-shaming is equivalent to slut-shaming, and shouldn’t happen in an ideal world. What you do is your business.
But what about the men who are virgins by choice? Do they exist? I’m not talking about the ones who want sex but (due to lack of confidence or social skills) have been unable to attract women. These are the men who can make a girl weak at the knees if they choose, but don’t go so far as to sleep with her, for religious or other personal reasons. These are the men who would…
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